2 Kings 13-20/The crown gets passed around

   Jehoahaz has replaced Jehu as the new king of Israel, for 17 years. Initially, he and all Israel sinned, and so God allowed Syria to overtake them. After some time, Jehoahaz humbled himself before God, and God brings Israel back from the Syrians, but Israel unfortunately was still deep in idol worship. The Syrian armies had whittled down their military power significantly during this time. Jehoahaz dies, and his son Jehoash reigns in his place. (the names thing is frusterating me, but..to be fair,I suppose if you look at the history of the US, our leaders have alot of Georges, Williams, and Johns.)
           To be clear, we now, at one point, have leaders by the same name over Israel and Judah. "Joash" and "Jehoash" are alternate spellings of the same name (this is explained in footnotes), with which the writer goes back and forth using. I'll just use "the king of Israel" and "the king of Judah." How's that?
    So the new king of Israel does not follow the Lord. Not much else is said about him. Jeroboam (yes, another one....) reigns next.
     Elisha is dying, and the king of Israel goes weeping to visit him, and says, "My Father! My Father! The chariots of Israel and its horsemen!".  I'm not exactly sure why the king is repeating this phrase which Elisha used when he was alone with Elijah. After some research and thought, I'm beginning to think that Elijah and Elisha have come to represent "chariots of Israel and its horsemen" in a spiritual sense. Anyway, Elisha tells the king to take a bow and arrow and shoot the arrow out the window. He does so, and Elisha proclaims it is the Lord's arrow of victory over Syria. Then he tells the king to strike the ground with the arrow, and the king does so, three times. Elisha becomes angry and says he should have struck the ground more times, for now they will only defeat Syria but three times.
    So Elisha dies, and is buried. Soon thereafter, another man is being buried, and some no-good thieves are out and about, and cause some havoc which involves the dead man being tossed into Elisha's grave. As soon as the corpse touches Elisha's bones, the corpse immediately comes back to life and stands up. (Confused, I would imagine!)
         Amaziah becomes Judah's next king, and he does what is right in the eyes of the Lord, but was not as good as David. He puts the servants to death who conspired against his father, but spares their children, as God commands in His law. He has some great military victories. He summons the king of Israel for a meeting. The king of Israel is like, "Be happy with your victories and leave us alone. Don't stir up trouble."  Amaziah persisted, and battle ensued. Israel won, and Amaziah was captured. The king of Israel ransacked the temple and the kings house and took lots of loot and hostages. A conspiracy is made against Amaziah, and he is chased and then killed. His sixteen year old son Azariah reigns in his place.
        In the fifteenth year of Amaziah's reign (over Judah), Jeroboam begins to reign over Israel. He did evil in God's sight, but nonetheless, God uses him to save Israel from great affliction. He dies, and his son Zechariah will reign over Israel next.
            In Jeroboam's 27th year of reign, Azariah began to reign over Judah. He lived uprightly before the Lord, but failed to remove idol worship out of Judah, and God punishes him with leprosy. He dies, and his son Jotham would reign over Judah next.
             Zechariah reigns over Israel for 6 months. Does evil. Shallum conspires against him, kills him, reigns in his place. Shallum only reigns in Israel 1 month. Menahem kills him and reigns in his place. Menahem kills a whole town and then some, and I'm very sorry to report that he "rips open all the pregnant women"   :-(    Somehow this cruel excuse for a king reigns 10 years. Pekahiah his son reigns after him. He does evil, is conspired against, dies. Pekah reigns in his place. During his reign, the Assyrian king comes and captures much of Israel and takes them away. A man named Hoshea conspires against Pekah, kills him, and reigns in his place.
    In the 2nd year of reign of King Pekah over Israel, Jotham starts to reign over Judah. He does right in the sight of the Lord, but fails to remove idol worship from Judah. He dies, and his son Ahaz will reign over Judah next.
    Ahaz does NOT do right in God's eyes. He's into idol worship and even offers his son as a sacrifice. At that time, Judah suffers defeats to Syria, and Ahaz tries to enlist help from Assyria. The Assyrian king listens and helps them defeat Syria, and even kills the Syrian king Rezin. King Ahaz goes to Damascus and likes the looks of the Assyrian alter, so he moves Judah's alter and replaces it with one more Assyrian style, and makes some other serious changes in the temple, all to mimic Assyria (oh, dear....). He dies, and Hezekiah will reign over Judah in his place.
   Hoshea is now reigning over Israel. He does not follow the Lord. He also tries to snuggle up to the Assyrian king, but the Assyrian king ain't havin it. He throws Hoshea in prison and beseiges Judah for three years, and then carries Israel away to Assyria.
             It is explained that Israel goes into exile because of their sin. They are worshipping idols under every tree, worshipping the sun, moon & stars, sacrificing their children, etc. God warned them time & time again, but they are turning their backs on their covenant, etc. Now none of them are left in the land but the tribe of Judah.
         The Assyrian king brings people from Babylon, Cuthah, Avva, and Hamath and settles them in Samaria. (for some reason I picture him doing this with his fist and saying "So there!"). These people did not fear the Lord, so the Lord sent lions among them. The king tells them, "Ooops.... You have to follow the law of this land's God....." and has someone go and fetch one of the priests they put into exile. These very confused people do put into practice what the priest teaches them, but continue worshipping their other gods in addition.
         In Hoshea's 3rd year of reign, Hezekiah begins to reign over Judah. Hezekiah was a good king. He served the Lord, and took down the places of idol worship, trusted God and obeyed the commandments. In his 14th year of reign, the Assyrian king is attempting to take control over Judah. Hezekiah strips gold off the temple doors for the Assyrian king, trying to placate him, but it didn't work. The Assyrian king has the palace surrounded by armies, and he is loudly taunting the king's messengers at the gate (loud enough for lots of surrounded people to hear.) He yells to the people to abandon their king and side with him, makes all kinds of promises to them which he clearly has no intent of keeping, and tells them not to trust in the Lord to save them this time. But nobody responded to the Assyrian king, because Hezekiah had warned them not to. Hezekiah's messengers come back to him, and they are panicked. Hezekiah sends his messengers to the prophet Isaiah, who sends word back to the king that he needn't worry.
  Isaiah goes into a sort of poetic prophesy of God speaking against Assyria. That night, God sent an angel who killed 185,000 of the Assyrian army.  Assyria retreated back home.
          Hezekiah becomes sick and is approaching death. Isaiah prophecies to him that he is dying, and to set things in order. Hezekiah isn't ready to die, and weeps bitterly. Isaiah prophesies again, saying that God has heard him, and will heal him. Hezekiah asks for a sign, and Isaiah responds by asking if he'd like to see his shadow move ten steps forward or backward. He'd like it to move backward, and so backward it moves.
     The king of Babylon hears that Hezekiah is sick, and sends envoys and a present. Hezekiah welcomes them a little too much - showing them all the wonders and luxuries, which, Isaiah warns, will work against them in the future, because, as he prophecies, Babylon will one day capture Judah. Hezekiah responds saying, "Why not, if there will be peace and security in my days?"   This kind of sounds like he figures all good things must come to an end. The good king Hezekiah dies, and his son Manasseh reigns in his place.

    "One hundred sixty four thousand seventy three!......One hundred sixty four thousand seventy four!...."

2 Kings 1-12/Chariots of Fire & lots more kings

The two books of Kings seem to be separated by the work of the prophets Elijah and Elisha. We do hear a little bit more about Elijah in the first few chapters, before he is "taken" up to heaven.
   King Ahaziah of Israel sufffers a fall and is sick/injured. He sends his men to inquire a false god about his recovery. God sends Elijah to intervene, so Elijah sends word to Ahaziah that he will not recover, but die, because he is petitioning Baal'zebub, rather than the true God. The king sends three groups of fifty men after Elijah, but at Elijah's word, God sends down fire upon them. So at any rate, Ahaziah dies, as Elijah prophecied. Jehoram (son of Ahab, Ahaziah had no son) reigns in his place.
     Elisha and Elijah are walking together, and they know it is time for God to take Elijah up to heaven by whirlwind. Elijah tells Elisha to stay behind in Gilgal, and that he will carry on to Bethel, but Elisha refuses to leave him. The same thing happens in Bethel, as Elijah is about to carry on to Jericho. It happens again from Jericho to the Jordan. Every time it happens, the sons of prophets are prophecying to Elisha that Elijah is about to be taken away from him, and his response is "Yes, I know it, keep quiet."  I wonder if he was perhaps dismayed, and just trying to enjoy his last few moments with Elijah. Or, perhaps he was trying not to draw the public's attention to what was about to happen. Elijah parts the Jordan with his cloak, and he and Elisha cross over. Elijah asks Elisha what he would like Elijah to do for him before he leaves, and Elisha asks for a double portion of Elijah's spirit to be on him. Elijah confesses that this is a difficult request, and says that if Elisha can see Elijah as he ascends, it will be given to him, but if not, than it will not be granted. They continued on, when, suddenly, chariots of fire and horses of fire separated them, and Elijah went up in the whirlwind up to heaven. Elisha cries out, "My father, my father! The chariots of Israel and its horsemen!"   I ponder that statement, and I think..... Maybe it was like Elisha was describing what he saw as a way to tell Elijah, "I see it! I see you!"   Elisha leaves, taking Elijah's cloak with him, and parts the waters of the Jordan with it as he goes.
            Fifty men (sons of prophets) come to Elisha and they're like, "Here we are. We're your students, now. Hey, we better check around and make sure Elijah really ascended and didn't just get *poofed* onto a mountain or cave somewhere."   Elisha is like, "Umm, yeah, no, don't bother."  But they insist.Obviously, they couldn't find him. Some of the townspeople come and complain that their water is bad, and so he heals the water. He goes up to Bethel, and a large gang of unruly young boys jeer at him, saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" (I guess Elisha was bald.....). He cursed them in the name of the Lord, and two Momma bears come and tear up forty-two of the boys.
         So Jeroham is king over Israel, and he doesn't follow the Lord. He did, at least, put Baal's pillar away, and isn't as bad as his parents, but still lives in sin. The Moabite king (who had many sheep) stops sending Israel the wool they had previously arranged upon, and so Jeroham enlists the help of Judah (through king Jehoshaphat) to battle Moab. So they head to Edom to battle, but decide to confer with Elisha before pressing on. Elisha is like, "What do you want with me? Go ask your idol's prophets."  But they insist it is THE Lord who has brought them to fight Moab. Elisha tells them that the Lord will send them water (they were lacking water to drink...) and give the Moabites into their hands, and that they are to ransack all the towns, chop down the trees, ruin the fields, etc, etc. The Moabites see all the water God sent, but they see it as blood red, and assume that the two kings have turned on each other and fought amonst themselves, and so they head that way, expecting to get alot of loot. Instead, they come up against the armies, and Israel & Judah's armies give them a good beating, and destroy all the towns, like God commanded. The Moabite king offers sin son as a burnt offering, and then there came a great wrath against Israel. (not sure I understand this part...). So the armies withdraw and everyone goes home.
              A widow of one of the sons of the prophets comes to Elisha because creditors are threatening to take her children since she cannot pay her debt. He asks her what she has. All she has is a jar of oil. He tells her to round up lots of empty vessels, and start pouring oil into them. Miraculously, the oil doesn't empty from the jar until she's poured enough oil that she can sell for enough profit to pay her debt, and still have some leftover for her family.
    A kind, wealthy Shunammite woman gives lodging and food to Elisha, and he wishes to thank her. He gives her a blessing by which she will conceive a son, which was quite providential for her, as she had no son and her husband was very old. One day, the boy is helping his father in the field, when he suddenly cries out, "Oh, my head! my head!"  (he's having an anerism maybe?), and he's taken in to his mother, and dies in her lap. She lays him on Elisha's bed, and sets out on donkey to find Elisha. She finds him at Mt. Carmel, and bows down and grasps his feet. Elisha's servant Gehazi starts to pull her away, but Elisha tells him to stop...that something is very wrong, and God has presently kept it hidden from him. She explains in so many words, and Elisha gives his staff to Gehazi and tells him to go to the child and touch the staff to his face. Gehazi came back to Elisha and told him that it didn't work. So, Elisha goes to the house, lays on the child until the body is warm, and then the child sneezes seven times and wakes up.
           Elisha goes to Gilgal, where there's a famine. He orders a servant to get a stew going for everybody. (the sons of the prophets were with him.) One of them goes off and gathers some gourds and herbs for the stew, but unknowingly gathered poisonous ones. As the men eat, they quickly realize the mistake. Elisha throws some flour in the pot, and it's cured of it's poison.
    The Syrian king - Naaman - who was a mighty king - happened to get leprosy. His wife's little servant girl (who was captured from Israel) tips them off that Israel's got a prophet who can heal his unpleasantry. Naaman immediately leaves for Sumaria, to go find the prophet, and has one of his guys take a letter to Israel's king, explaining that he is on his way there to be healed. The king gets the letter, and goes into a panic, thinking that Naaman expects HIM to do the healing, and that this is going to turn ugly very fast. Elisha hears about it, and tells the king to calm down and send Naaman to him, instead.
           So Naaman comes to Elisha, and Elisha tells him to go wash in the Jordan seven times. Naaman scoffs at this, saying that there are far better healing waters elsewhere, and he expected a mightier show of power from Elisha. His servants plead with him to give the Jordan a try, so finally he does, and, of course, is healed. Naaman returns to Elisha, and confesses that the God of Israel is the true God, and offers Elisha a gift, but Elisha refuses it. Gehazi, Elisha's servant, gets a little greedy, and chases after Naaman, who is leaving, and asks for reward, which Naaman happily gives.  Elisha confronts him about it, and then curses Gehazi and all his descendents forevermore with leprosy.
        Now Elisha is garnering quite a following, and the sons of the prophets decide they need to build a bigger house. So they are chopping down some trees for the lumber when someone loses the head of their ax into the water. That person laments to Elisha that the axhead is gone, and it was a borrowed ax. Bet it was a good one, too, not easily replaceable. Something like the *Bethlehem Swingsharp 2000.*(I hate when that happens, you know.... When you ask to borrow somebody's something and you accidentally ruin/break it!!!) Elisha asks him where it fell, and then he threw a stick into the water, and axehead miraculously floats up. Elisha tells the guy to go ahead and take it, and he does.  I sense there's some deep spiritual truth in this story, but it isn't super clear to me. The axe is the tool they need to be effective in their work, and they lose it, but God helps them pick it back up again.. To me, it seems to say - if you falter and lose your way in God's work, He can help you get back on track... Even against odds, like finding an axehead at the bottom of a lake.
    The Syrian king gets ticked off because every time he strategizes where to place his camp (he's at war with Israel), Elisha keeps warning Israel, spoiling his element of surprise. He sends some guys to find Elisha, and he has the city surrounded by army and chariots, ready to pounce. One of Elisha's guys is panicking, he's like, "What are we gunna do now??", but Elisha tells him not to fear, for there is actually more fighting with them than against them. Elisha prays for the man's eyes to be opened, and the man looks up and sees the Lord has placed chariots of fire all around. Makes me wonder what kind of heavenly help has been assisting me throughout life, without my knowledge.... Anyway, Elisha asks for his enemies to be blinded, and he leads them to Samaria. Once there, they are unblinded, and finding themself now in Israel's royal city, they are vulnerable. The Israeli king asks Elisha if they ought to go ahead and kill them, but Elisha says "No.... we've captured them. It's enough. Give them some food to eat and send them away." And so that's what they did.
     Later on, Ben-hadad (king of Syria) is beseiging Samaria, at a time when Samaria is in a horrible famine. The price of food has skyrocketed to the point that a donkey's head sells as food for eighty shekels of silver, and a quarter of a cup of bird poop sells as food for five shekels of silver. (chapter 6, verse 25). Tasty....... An Israeli woman (we'll call her Lady A)cries out to the king, saying that Lady B made a bargain with her that yesterday they'd eat Lady A's son that day, and Lady B's son the next.  So they boiled and ate Lady A's son, and now Lady B has hidden her own son, and it isn't fair, is it? The king is extremely disturbed, tears at his clothing, and decides...dag nab it, this is all Elisha's fault and he's going to have Elisha's head for this!!
    Elisha is sitting with some of his guys, and says, "Oh, look, he's sent someone to have me murdered."  The messenger arrives and demands help.  Elisha says that tomorrow, flour and barley will be aplenty. A captain, in doubt, mocks Elisha, and Elisha says that it's true, but that he (the captain) will not get to eat any.
       Four lepers who are seated at the gate decide that they're going to give up their assigned leper-post in search of whatever might sustain them, since they're going to die one way or another. They come to the Syrian camp and discover the Syrian army has fled their camp, and left all kinds of food and loot behind. (God made the Syrians hear the sound of chariots and horses, and they chased after the noise, abandoning their camp.) So the lepers, after some debate, decide to share the good news with the king's household. So Israel went and plundered the Syrian camp, and the next day, flour and barley was indeed plentiful. The captain was trampled to death at the gate when the people rushed for food. Thus, he didn't get to eat any food, only dirt, which, in my humble opinion, may be a few degrees tastier than bird poop.
    The Shunammite lady (the one who provided for Elisha and whose son Elisha brought back to life) comes back from the land of the Phillistines. (Elisha tipped her off that the famine was coming, so she left). Elisha orders that all her land go back into her posession. Obviously, he hadn't forgot her kindness.
            Ben-hadad falls ill, and sends Hazael to Elisha to ask if he'll recover. He makes Hazael take "a present" for Elisha.  Sometimes, in the Bible, when someone takes a present, I probably haven't gotten a clear view of the situation. When I hear  "a present", I think of a little box with a bow, and that it probably contained a dozen figs and maybe a couple containers of spices. This passage actually describes the "present" as being "forty camel loads" worth of "present."  At any rate, so Hazael asks Elisha if Ben-hadad will recover, and Elisha is like, "Well......about that..... No, he's definately going to die, but go ahead and tell him that he'll be fine." And then Elisha just sits there staring at Hazael, and then starts crying. Hazael is like, "Dude, what ails you?"  And Elisha tells him that he weeps because Hazael will be king, and do horrible and awful things to Israel, like dash their children to pieces and tear open their pregnant women. Hazael is like, "Oh, please. Little old me? How could you think that?"   He goes back to Ben-hadad, who is like, "Well? What did Elisha say??"  And Hazael responds, "Oh, right, right.....He said you'll get better!"  The next day, Hazael suffocates Ben-hadad to death and becomes king.
       Now, Jehoshaphat's son Jehoram is reigning over Judah, and he's not following the Lord, especially because he's married to Ahab's daughter. Edom revolts and sets up their king, as does Libnah. Jehoram dies, and his son Ahaziah reigns over Judah next. (this gets really confusing, we have alot of the same names in the two royal families...). OK, so we have Ahazariah over Judah, Joram over Israel, and together they are battling Hazael, who is over Syria. Joram gets wounded, and Ahaziah goes to visit him.
    Elisha orders one of his students to take a flask of oil and go and anoint Jehu, son of Jehoshaphat, as king of Israel. Then open the door and run like crazy!
    Jehu (who is an army commander) is busy in a meeting, and is interrupted by Elisha's student, who quickly anoints him as king of Israel, prophecys that he will destroy the entire house of Ahab, that dogs shall eat Jezebel, and then runs away.  Jehu's guys come back to him and they're like, "Hey....what was that all about?"  And Jehu responds like, "Oh, nothing. You know how those fellows are..."   But the men persist, they want to know what happened. Finally he tells them, and the men immediately hail Jehu as their new king. Jehu's first order of business is to conspire against Joram, who is still laying in his sickbed from being wounded in battle, with Ahaziah at his side.  Joram realizes that Jehu is coming for him, and the three kings meet up in their chariots on Naboth's property. Jehu kills Joram with bow & arrow, and they shoot Ahaziah, but he flees, and dies later of his wounds.
            Jehu comes after Jezebel next. Her greeting to him is mockery, and he gets some nearby eunichs to help kill her. They trample her to death and leave her leave there on the ground for awhile. He sends men back to her body to take it to be buried, but alas.... They were only able to find her skull, and bits of her hands and feet, because... the dogs ate her.
           Jehu decides to get down to business in obliterating the house of Ahab. He sends word for Ahab's sons to be brought to him to fight over the throne. Ahab's son's people were terrified, so Jehu simply asks for them to send the sons' heads in some baskets, instead. And so it was done. Jehu carried on killing Ahab's friends, priests, etc, till Ahab's entire circle was dearly departed.  I'm thinking to myself - alas, Israel's got a king whose getting some good work done.... He comes across some relatives of Ahaziah's, and has them slaughtered as well. He makes friends with Jehonadab, son of Rechab, and brings him along, on his chariot, to show him acting in zeal for the Lord.   Next, he takes out a great multitude of Baal worshippers. He tricks them by pretending to have a great sacrifice to Baal, and warns that if anyone present serves the Lord God, they'd best leave. Finally, he has guards storm the building and kill everyone. They  burn Baal's pillar and demolish the house, and have it used as a latrine (public restroom) from then on. So Jehu wiped out Baal, but did not get rid of those pesky golden calves that Israel was quite fond of. God tells Jehu that his sons for the next four generations will sit on Israel's throne. God began to cut off parts of Israel. Syria defeats them and takes over lots of land. Jehu dies and his son Jehoahaz reigns over Israel next.
    Ahaziah (whom Jehu had killed alongside Joram) is dead, and when his mother Athaliah finds out, she destroys all the royal family. But Ahaziah's sister hides little baby Joash, her nephew with his nanny in the temple, and they stay there together some six years. At that point, a priest calls for some military help, and shows them the late king's son who has survived, and puts them under oath to be quiet about it, but that they will now take shifts guarding the boy's life and crown him as king. They do so, and Athaliah hears the commotion and cries "Treason!", and the priest orders the captains to kill her, which they do. The priest (his name is Jehoiada) tries to put the people on the right path with Joash as their new king. They tear down Baal's tower and make covenants with God. Joash, bless his heart, was seven years old when he began to reign, and he did right in the eyes of the Lord, and this is credited to the fact that he was brought up by Jehoiada, the priest.
    Joash decides it's time for the temple to have any needed repairs. It takes some twenty three years to get the ball rolling on this, but finally it gets done. Hazael decides to make war again, this time on Jerusalem, and Joash takes all the sacred gifts, gold and silver and whatnot, out of the temple and sends it to Hazael to placate him. It works and Hazael goes away. This sounds like a really bad thing to do, but this isn't the first time it's happened in the OT, and thus far I haven't seen the Lord respond in any kind of wrathful way to it. I wonder if God's intention for those "sacred things" was to be kind of like an insurance policy of sorts against unwanted war. I don't know.... One more on the list of things for me to google.... Joash's servants wind up conspiring against him, and Jozacar and Jehozabad (his servants) kill him. His son Amaziah reigns in his place.

"Hatikva"

Just a wee little break from the Bible posts. I wanted to share this video of Israel's national anthem, called "Hatikva."  It's easily the most beautiful national anthem I have ever heard. Listen to it and pay attention to the English translation..... Extremely interesting to someone reading the Old Testament... Haunting,even...

1 Kings 16-22/Ahab the Awful.

   (I'm going to stop posting that there's "more" about the kings in Chronicles. It's pretty much for all of them, and it's redundant...)
     God rebukes Baasha for his evil ways. Baasha dies. Elah, his son comes to reign over Israel. Only for two years, though. While Elah was intoxicated, his servant Zimri killed him, and then Zimri reigned in his place. He obliterates the house of Baasha, fufilling the prophecy in God's rebuke.
 Zimri had a very short reign. Seven days to be exact. Israel didn't want him, so they gave the throne to Omri instead. Zimri set fire to the king's house and died in it.
    Omri didn't follow God, and so neither did Israel. He builds up Samaria, which will now be the place where Israel's king resides. (I guess Zimri really destroyed the palace with that fire...)  After 12 years of reign, he dies, and his son Ahab reigns.
         Ahab reigns 22 years. He was a very, very evil king. He has a temple & altars built for Baal worship. He marries a Sidonian woman Jezebel, and they are two peas in a pod. She's just as evil as he is. (but perhaps a bit more ruthless....)
      Elijah the prophet tells Ahab that God is going to punish them with drought. God tells Elijah to go hide by a brook, where he can drink, and the birds will bring him food. But after awhile, the brook dries up. God commands him to go to Zarephath, where a widow will feed him. He goes and finds the widow and asks for his food, but as she explains it, she has nothing but a little oil and flour, and is about to prepare something for her son and herself to eat, and then they will prepare to die. (starve...because there will be no more food.) He tells her to prepare him a little cake, and not to worry, God will refill her jars, and they'll never empty. And He does. But later on, the boy becomes very ill and dies. Elijah brings him to his bed and lays him down. Then Elijah calls out to God to save the boy's life, and God listens and the boy is raised back to life.
 Three years after the drought began, Elijah is told by God to confront Ahab, and then it will rain.  Ahab, as it were, has been around a man of God- Obadiah - who is over the household. (hey! there's a book called "Obadiah" after awhile...I wonder if it's the same guy!) Obadiah has hidden 100 prophets of God and has been secretly feeding them, because Jezebel has been "cutting off" the prophets. So, anyway, Obadiah runs into Elijah, and falls on his face. Elijah wants Obadiah to tell Ahab that he has arrived. Obadiah panics, because Ahab has been angrily searching everywhere for Elijah, and Obadiah greatly fears what might happen when Elijah suddenly shows up, especially because.... Elijah has this special power of disappearing...Obadiah describes it as "the Spirit of the Lord carrying you away"..... One second he's there, the next second he's *poof*.
   So at any rate, Elijah confronts Ahab, and orders him to bring all Israel and gather the false idol's prophets together at Mount Carmel. (oooh....this is gunna be good....).  It's time for a little false god vs. Almighty God showdown. Elijah orders the idol's prophets to prepare an altar with a bull upon it, and Elijah will do the same. Whichever God brings fire to the altar, will be proven as the true God.
      So from morning till noon, Baal's prophets are calling out to Baal for fire, but nothing happens. Elijah mocks them, saying that maybe Baal is considering it, maybe he's gone away on some errands, or perhaps he's using the restroom...  They keep crying out, and begin cutting themselves with swords, trying to get Baal's attention. Of course, nothing happens.  Now it's Elijah's turn. He builds an altar with 12 stones to represent the 12 tribes of Israel. Then he has people fill four jars with water and pour it onto the sacrifice... He tells them to do it a second time....and then a third time.... (Twelve jars of water poured....). He calls out to God, and fire consumes the altar, the stones, the dust, the water, everything. The people fell on their faces and confessed that Elijah's God is the true God. He orders the people to seize Baal's prophets, and they do. Then he slaughters them.
               Elijah tells Ahab to go up on a mountain and look for rain. He has him go up and down this mountain 7 times, and finally, on the 7th time, Ahab sees a small storm cloud coming up from the sea, in the shape of a hand. Elijah tells Ahab to get on his chariot and bugger off so as to not get caught in the rain that's coming. When Jezebel finds out that Elijah killed all Baal's prophets, she sends word to him that she will do the same to him within the next 24 hours.  Elijah runs off and hides in the wilderness, is fed by an angel, and begins travelling to Mount Horeb, the mountain of God. (where Moses received the Ten Commandments from God).
          Once there, he hides in a cave, and God asks him what he's doing. He explains that Israel has turned away from the Lord and they are out to kill him, so he's hiding. God tells him to get up on the mountain before the Lord. The Lord "passed by" and wind tore up the mountain and broke lots of rocks...but God was not in the wind..... And after that, an earthquake...but God wasn't in the earthquake... Next, a fire.... but God wasn't in the fire, either. Then Elijah hears a whisper.....   He goes back to the cave, and God asks him again what he is doing. He repeats himself, and God tells him to go to Damascus and annoint Hazael as the new king of Syria, and Jehu as the new king of Israel, and Elisha as the new prophet to take over for Elijah. He says that whoever escapes Hazael's sword, Jehu will kill, and whoever escapes Jehu's sword, Elisha will kill. But He will leave 7 thousand of Israel, all who haven't worshipped Baal.
        Elijah finds Elisha, who is plowing. Elisha asks to say goodbye to his family, and then picks up and follows Elijah. I would loved to have seen these two together, btw. They seem to have a very interesting bond.
       The Syrian king Ben-hadaad makes some pretty serious demands on Ahab...(his wife, his children, his gold, his silver...), and so begins war between Syria and Israel. God tells Ahab that He will deliver the Syrians into their hand, and they win the battle. A prophet warns Ahab that the Syrians will come again for war in the spring. The Syrians, meanwhile, are figuring that Israel's gods are "gods of the hills" (when it talks about "high places" in the Old Testament, it's referring to altars and places of worship that were build high up on hills for idols, as was their practice...). Therefore, the Syrians decide to attack on low ground, on the plains. God tells Ahab that He will make Israel victorious on the plains, so it will be known that He is Lord."  And so, Syria suffers a terrible defeat. Afterwards, Ben-hadaad devises a plan which involves eating some  humble pie. He comes crawling to Ahab in sackcloth and ashes, begging for pardon. Ahab makes a covenant with him and lets him go. (bad, bad, bad idea, Ahab.....)  A man of God comes to Ahab and condemns the release of king Ben-hadaad, and says that Ahab's life will be the price for letting the Syrian king live. Ahab gets all bummed out about it.  Then he gets even more upset when Naboth, who owns a vineyard near the palace, won't sell Ahab his vineyard. Ahab is all pouting in bed and turning away his food.  Jezebel asks what's wrong, and Ahab tells her. She arranges for Naboth to be killed by having him be falsely accused of blasphemy against God and the king. They people stone Naboth, and Ahab gets the vineyard, which he plans to turn into a vegetable garden. (So....he destroyed the vineyard....."I am the Vine, you are the branches", because he just had to eat the "fruit of the garden"......while Naboth was killed for being falsely accused of blasphemy....alot of wierd parallels there, no?)  God sends Elijah to go and condemn Ahab. He tells Ahab that the dogs will lick up his blood from the same place where they licked up Naboth's blood, and that Jezebel will be eaten by dogs, along with all others from the house of Ahab.
     And though Ahab was pretty much the worst of the worst, he finally humbles himself before God. In response, God declares He will not bring disaster on Ahab's house until the next generation.  After three years, Johoshaphat (king of Judah) commissions Ahab's army to help in battling Ramoth-gilead (and the Syrian army). Ahab wants to petition the Lord on this matter. The prophets speak that they will be victorious and all will be well. They bring in one more prophet, a certain "Michaiah", much to the chagrin of Ahab, who says that Michaiah always gives such condemning prophecy. Michaiah proceeds to tell them that the Lord has sent a lying spirit into the mouths of the prophets to entice them to the battle. Ahab and Jehoshaphat have him seized and taken away, and they go off to battle, ignoring his warning. What they don't know, is that the Syrians have been specifically instructed to seek out Ahab and kill him. They succeed by accident when a soldier shoots his bow at random and it wounds Ahab. He lays bleeding on his chariot for a good long while and then dies. They buried him in Samaria, but as the chariot was being cleaned, his blood dripped onto the ground, and as you probably guessed, the dogs licked it up.
   Jehoshaphat reigned over Judah 25 years. He strove to follow God all his life, like Asa, his father. Judah, however, was still involved in idol worship. He is credited with making peace with the Israeli king, and exterminating what was left of the male prostitutes in the area. After he died, his son Jehoram reigned next.
   Ahaziah, Ahab's son, came to reign over Israel after Ahab's death, only for two years. He was just as evil as his parents, and worshipped Baal, and made God very, very angry.

Naboth: "What's this? The little king isn't rich enough to grow his own doggon grapes?" 
King Ahab: "Forget your grapes!!! I want zucchini, and I want it NOW!"

1 Kings 9-15/Kings,kings & more kings....

  God speaks to Solomon, and tells him that His eyes and His heart will always be with the temple. He warns Solomon that if he or his children turn from God and serve idols, God will cut off Israel from her land and the temple will become a heap of ruins.
   There's a brief account of the workers and labor used to build the temple, his palace, his wife's house, etc, and then some talk about ships & sailors Solomon used to import materials like gold.
   The queen of Sheba hears about Solomon and doubts what she's told, so she pays Solomon  a visit with plans to test his wisdom. When she sees the gradeur of the temple and his palace and kingdom, she is taken aback, and blesses the Lord of Israel. She lavishes gifts on Solomon, and he gives her whatever she desires.
     Solomon is really wealthy. Really, really, really wealthy. The weight of gold coming to Solomon every year is 666 talents. Does that mean something? Is it a coincidence? We're just gunna skip that and move on.
      He has an ivory throne overlaid with gold, six steps leading up to it, with a pair of lions sitting on either side of each step. He drinks out of gold cups. Nothing is silver, because silver was too cheap in Israel for him to bother with it. Every three years, ships come from Tarshish bringing gold, ivory, silver, apes, and peacocks. (yes, that's right....Apes....).   Add on to that lots and lots of gifts lavished on him because he is so beloved and wise. Yep. Solomon is a big deal.
        But..... Like his dearly departed father, Solomon is a ladies' man. Much more of one than David, actually... He married all kinds of women outside of the faith. Moabites, Edomites, Ammonites.... all kinds of "ites".   He has 700 wives, and 300 concubines. And they turned his heart away from God, and brought idol worship back to Israel. Ashteroth, of course, Milcom, Chemosh.....and the worst of them all (in my opinion).....Molech. Let me take a moment here on Molech. I want to kick Molech in the FACE. Molech was a false god to which people offered their babies as sacrifices. He had a big fire pit on the inside, and there were several compartments in which they put various things. One of the compartments was for a human baby. Molech was so hot from the fire that the baby would burn alive, to it's death. The people would play really loud music to drown out the baby's screaming, in an effort to keep the baby's relatives from changing their minds.
      As I've been reading the Old Testament, I have been having issues with seeing life as they saw it back then. A close friend & great spiritual mentor of mine reminded me that sanctity of life is a Judeo-Christian concept which simply didn't exist back then. Still.....things like Molech are just tough for me to swallow. Henceforth, I lost alot of respect for Solomon when I read that he got Israel involved with Molech. That really disappointed me.
          God became very angry with Solomon, and tells him that He will tear the kingdom from him, but for David's sake, will not tear it from Solomon, but from Solomon's son.
   So God raises up enemies against Solomon. Hadad the Edomite, who has an alliance with the Egyptian Pharoah, and Rezon, who reigned over Syria, and Jeroboam, one of Solomon's servants. A prophet named Ahijah comes to Jeroboam and tells him that God is going to take the kingdom from Solomon, (though He will leave him one tribe, so as to always "keep a lamp" in Israel), and that God is going to give ten tribes into Jeroboam's hand. This being the case, Solomon sought to kill Jeroboam, and so Jeroboam fled to Egypt, where he stayed until Solomon's death.
          Now Solomon's son Rehoboam (not to be confused with Jeroboam....) is about to be anointed king after Solomon's death. The people cry out that Solomon put them under heavy labor, and quite frankly, they want a break. Rehoboam sends them away for three days so he can mull things over. The old men counsel him to speak good, soothing words to the people. The inexperienced men counsel him to be harsh to them. In a move that proves he didn't inherit his father's wisdom, he speaks responds harshly to the people. He was only able to reign over Judah. He sent out a boss over the forced labor, and Israel stoned the guy to death. Israel clearly is not taking his crap. Jeroboam shows up on the scene, and all Israel anoints Jeroboam as their king, while Judah still follows Rehoboam. Thus, the prophecy was fufilled.
            Jeroboam makes some golden calves, and has Israel start worshipping them and sacrificing to them, and even institutes some new holidays.  A man of God comes and rebukes Jeroboam for this wickedness. Jeroboam reaches out to seize him, and his arm shrivels up. The altars are torn down and Jeroboam admits defeat. He asks the man of God to pray for his arm to be restored, and so it is. Then he asks the guy to come home with him and eat, and the guy is like, "Totally not gunna happen.....God commanded me not to. Heck, I can't even go back the same way I came....." and he leaves.
       An old prophet in Bethel hears about it, comes to see the man of God, and tells him to come back with him and eat. But the young guy refuses. The old prophet says, "Hey, I'm also a prophet. It's ok...." , so they go off together. God punishes the young prophet by having him killed by a lion after he leaves. The old prophet takes his body back to his home city and has him buried, and asks that when he dies, his bones be buried in the same grave.
 Jeroboam didn't learn his lesson, unfortunately, and continues on with the idol worship. His son Abijah (not to be confused with Ahijah, the prophet....good gracious, they made things difficult for us with the names, did they not?)  Jeroboam sends his wife (disguised) to Ahijah the prophet to find out what will happen to their son. Naturally, Ahijah immediately knows who she is. He tells her that because of Jeroboam's sin, every male member of the family will perish and that their bodies will lay in the street to be eaten by dogs or in fields to be eatern by birds, except for the young son, who found favor in God's eyes. He will be allowed to die (which he will promptly do as she crosses the threshhold of her house) and be put in a dignified grave. Everyone else goes to the dogs. And God will give Israel up and scatter them because of Jeroboam and all this idol nonsense. So there!
   So she goes home, and the young son dies as she steps in. It's said that the rest of the details on Jeroboam are written in "the Book of the Chronicles of the Kings of *Israel*." (is this code for 1 or 2 Chronicles? I guess we'll find out soon....I will abbreviate it TBoCKI)
              Unfortunately, Judah also turns away from God. Evidently male prostitution was becoming a big problem with them, in addition to "all the abominations" of the people which God drove out from before Israel. Judah got pillaged pretty bad. War was between Jeroboam and Rehoboam constantly. And there's more about Rehoboam in "the Book of the Chronicles of the Kings of *Judah*...." (which will now be abbreviated TBoCKJ)
                  After Rehoboam, Abijam reigns over Judah for 3 years. He did not follow the Lord. Nonetheless, God has him "carry the lamp" so to speak, for the sake of David. And there's more about Abjiam in TBoCKJ.
      Next, Asa reigned over Judah, for 41 years. Asa DID follow the Lord. The Israeli king Baasha battled against Asa. Asa took the precious metal out of the temple and sent it to Syria, asking them to break covenant with Israel and ally with Judah. King Ben-hadad of Syria approved, and gave them the military oomph they needed to keep Israel at bay for awhile. Asa winds up with diseased feet and dies. More about Asa in TBoCKJ.
     Now in the 2nd year of Asa reigning over Judah, Nadab comes to reign over Israel. He did not follow the Lord. A guy named Baasha conspires against Nadab, and gets Nadab killed and obliterates the entire house of Jeroboam, and Baasha takes the throne. More about Nadab in TBoCKI.
             Baasha reigns over Israel for 24 years, and did not follow the Lord.
   So we'll finish up 1 Kings in the next post.... And in doing so, I'll be excited to introduce a very important and beloved Biblical figure.....    Elijah the prophet   :-)

1 Kings 1-8/Can we build it? Yes we can!

 
      I liked 1 Kings. It was an interesting read. David becomes old and ill in the beginning. It mentions that no matter how much cover they put on him, he couldn't be warm. They brought a beautiful woman to lay with him and keep him warm, but he didn't "know her" in the Biblical sense...pardon the pun. Adonijah, one of David's sons, couldn't let his father die in peace - to the contrary, he decided to demand his right to be the next king. David was bedridden by this point, and Joab and Bathsheba confronted David about it. David had Solomon summoned and anointed him as king. Such was the people's celebration over Solomon's anointing, that apparently the "earth split" with all the noise they made.  Adonijah fears for his life, but Solomon swears not to kill him, so long as he departs from wickedness.
    Now David is about to die, and he has some words with Solomon. He tells him to be strong, obey God, and then...hehehe.....mentions a few names of people who need to be "taken care of" whom he had promised that he (himself) would not kill...Joab and Shimei.
    Adonijah seems to buck up a bit and removes his tail from between his legs. He goes and visits Bathsheba and asks her to go to Solomon and secure Abishag the Shunnamite for him as his wife. This is the beautiful girl who was hired to keep David warm.  Solomon responds by having Adonijah killed. I didn't understand this, initially, but after some study, it seems that Adonijah's actions would have been correctly interpreted as challenging the throne. Also, Solomon has Adonijah's supporters dealt with - Abiathar the priest is banished, and Joab is killed (inside the tabernacle no less!). So Joab (who was the commander of Israel's army) is replaced by a guy named Benaiah, and Zadok took the place of Abiathar.
    Solomon puts Shimei under house arrest, which is, in my opinion, a test which Solomon knows Shimei will fail. He does, and Solomon has him killed.
    Solomon marries the daughter of Egypt's Pharoah, as some kind of political alliance. Solomon loves the Lord, and offers lots of sacrifices. God asks Solomon what he would like God to give him, and he asks for wisdom. God grants him wisdom, and gives him also honor and wealth, though he didn't ask for those things. Solomon shows his wisdom to the people when two prostitutes come to him arguing over a baby. The prostitutes live together, and each one had a baby. One of the babies died, and now they both claim the living baby as their own. Solomon orders that the baby be cut in half with a sword, and one half given to each lady. Then one of them says, "No, let the other lady take the child, but don't harm him..." And so Solomon perceives that she is the child's true mother and gives the baby (unharmed) to her. The people marvel at this.
    There's some mention of all Solomon's officials, and then a long description of food privisions, which seems to show that Israel was not wanting for food. Solomon's wisdom, the Bible says, was beyond that of anyone "of the east and from all Egypt, " and he became quite famous for it.
   Now Solomon prepares to build the temple. He gets some help with receiving the lumber from Hirum, king of Tyre, who was an ally.  Solomon drafts thousands of workers to help build. It's 60 cubits long, twenty cubits wide, and thirty cubits tall. A cubit is around 18 inches. I was kind of surprised, actually, at how small it would be. I thought the temple would have been enormous, like the size of a large shopping mall. On the other hand, I suppose it didn't necessarily have to be, so long as it was large enough to have the necessary rooms. I imagine the surrounding grounds and gates and whatnot probably encompassed a large area.....   So there's a really long description of how Solomon built this temple. What's interesting to me, and please, if I am incorrect in this or bypassing a verse, do feel free to correct me, but I don't recall reading anywhere that God gave instructions as to every little detail of the temple like He did with the tabernacle. It doesn't seem to say, "And Solomon built the walls like such & such as God commanded", or "And Solomon covered these floors with gold as God commanded him to..."    In other words, it seems that while Solomon clearly obeyed God's design for specific rooms & usage of the temple (it has a Holy of Holies, and the altars and basins and such like the tabernacle), he may have actually been able to do alot of the design himself. That's not to say that he wasn't under any divine inspiration in the process. What I think is cool about all that is - if you remember from the chapter in 2 Samuel, David wanted to build a house for God as a gift to God... It wasn't a command from God. So it seems kind of fitting that Solomon should be able to add some of his own special touches, because this whole temple thing got started as a "gift" from David/Solomon to God. It talks about walls being made with wood ornately carved into the shapes of flowers, and then covered with gold. I cannot begin to imagine what this must have looked like!   It took seven years to build... And I really believe that most of the time spent was probably on workmanship, not necessarily erecting the building itself. If you read the entire description of it, it's chapters 5 & 6, and it's pretty phenomenal. The beauty of the interior would probably rival the Taj Mahal.
   He also has his own palace built, and there's a lengthy description of it. It's mentioned he builds a house for Pharoah's daughter (his wife) as well.
    Solomon has the Ark of the Covenant brought into the temple and put in the Most Holy Place, under the wings of two large cherubim figures which are covered in gold. When the priests came out of the Most Holy Place, a cloud filled the temple, and they had to leave, because the glory of the Lord just overwhelmed the place.
                 Solomon speaks to Israel, and reiterates to them the covenant about the temple between himself, his father, and God. He dedicates the temple, asking in prayer for Israel to turn to the temple to come back to God's fellowship whenever they are led astray, afflicted, and charges the people to walk uprightly before God. Then Solomon offers 22 thousand oxen and 120 thousand sheep as peace offerings to the Lord. The people had a great feast, and everyone went home joyful.
     What do you do with the blood of 120 thousand sheep and 22 thousand oxen? Does it all just evaporate while it's being burned? The average ox has almost 6 gallons of blood in it's body.That's 132 thousand gallons of blood pouring out on this altar, without even considering the 120 thousand sheep. That's another 480 thousand gallons of blood. So we're talking over 600 thousand gallons, and that much blood can fill an Olympic size swimming pool.

    This is not an actual piece of Solomon's temple, but just an example of the carved wood covered in gold...Palm trees, lions, flowers and pomegranates were mentioned in the temple decor....

2 Samuel 8-24/David this,David that....

 Moving on to chapter 8! David has more military victories - defeating the Phillistines, Moab, Zodah, Syria, Edom.... He loots precious  metals from them and dedicates the metal to God. Joab is still over David's army, Jehoshaphat is recorder (I guess this means someone who writes things down?), Zadok and Ahimelech are priests....
     Chapter nine really warmed my heart, and will probably be the 2nd most memorable thing to me from 2 Samuel, after the Davidic Covenant. King David asks if there's anyone left from Saul's house that he could show kindness to, in Jonathan's memory. As it were, there is Jonathan's son Mephibosheth, who is crippled. David has him summoned, and anounces that from now on, Mephibosheth will eat with him at the king's table. He orders that everything that belongs to the house of Saul is now given to Mephibosheth. This post is going to get really long now, I apologize, but I can't miss this... 
     You have to imagine what the world was like for the handicapped/disabled people back then. I work with handicapped/disabled/elderly people, and our culture protects their safety, their rights, and their dignity with our laws, our healthcare, our money, and our workforce. State healthcare officials come and inspect facilities where severely disabled people live to ensure their standard of care. As for their caregivers, being guilty of things like neglect or verbal abuse can be punishable by prison sentences. But this was not the way of life back then. Handicapped people were left on the street to beg. Mephibosheth was probably much better off because he was a king's grandson, but it's David's attitude toward him in showing him such compassion that speaks volumes.  He could have said, "Oh.....no, I don't want to bother with the crippled guy at my table, bring me somebody else...." but he didn't. And despite the fact that David is a true warrior in battle, having killed thousands of people, we see a tenderness in him in chapter 9 that makes me think.... David and God's relationship is so close, so intimate, could it be that a little bit of God's compassion/mercy for the less fortunate has infected David?
   Later on, the Ammonite king dies, and his son Hanun comes to reign. David sends messengers to meet with him, and orders them to be cordial. But Hanun's guys think that David has actually sent spies and is plotting against them, so Hanun has David's mens' beards and clothes cut up all funny and sends them back, looking ridiculous. David sends them away till their beards grow back, to avoid the shame. Naturally, battle ensues between the Ammonites (and a whole bunch of other armies they hired such as the Syrians) and Israel. Israel gives the Ammonites and Syrians such a bad beating that Syria won't help the Ammonites anymore.
      Then one day David is up on a roof and sees a beautiful woman bathing, named Bathsheba. He inquires about her. She is the wife of Uriah the Hittite. This is a minor detail, though, when one is king. He sends for her and has his way with her, and then sent her home pregnant. So then David calls for Uriah, and they make small talk, and David tells Uriah to go home and wash his feet, and gives him a present. *shaking my head*   Uriah doesn't go into his house though, he stays outside with the other men. David asks him why, and he's like, "I can't shut myself up inside. I need to stay out here and keep watch over things and be available if I'm needed...."  Now I'm not exactly sure what's going on here, but it seems to me like David is trying to urge Uriah into bed with Bathsheba so that when her pregnancy begins to show, Uriah won't know that it isn't his child. I could be wrong. It's all very Maury Povich, if you ask me. Anyhow, the problem continues that David can't seem to get Uriah to go home, so he changes tactics, and has the military put him in the front of the battle, where he will be easy pickings for the enemy. What's worse is that he writes this order to Joab and has it delivered by Uriah himself. Bathsheba mourns Uriah's death for a little bit, and then David takes her as wife. But God was not pleased.
     Nathan rebukes David via a parable about a rich man stealing a poor man's lamb. God condemns David, and tells him that "the sword shall never depart from your house", and that evil will rise up from within his house, and that the baby which was born to them is going to die. David's really upset and crying and fasting and such, and then the child dies. David and Bathsheba have another son, and name him Solomon.
    Now we have a really icky mess to hash through. David's son Absalom has a beautiful sister named Tamar. David's other son, Amnon (Tamar's half brother), falls head over heels in lust for her. Ew. Amnon lies in bed as though he's sick, and begs David for Tamar to come and take care of him. So David sends Tamar to Amnon, and Amnon rapes her. Afterward, Amnon is consumed with hate for Tamar. He has her thrown out, and she tears the long sleeves off her robe (which symbolizes the princess' virginity), and goes to stay with Absalom, who shuns Amnon. David is angry about the whole thing, but doesn't intervene. Absalom later on has Amnon invited to some sort of sheep-shearing appointment, and has him killed. David mourns Amnon, and his heart longs for Absalom, who has fled.
    Joab finds a wise woman, and dresses her up like she's in mourning garb, and has her go before David. She recites what Joab asked her to say - which is basically a summary of the Absalom killed Amnon situation, but she leaves out the names, and pretends like she's talking about her own sons. Then she reveals that she is speaking about David's own house. David knows immediately that Joab's been up to something, and so he's like, "OK, the time has come. Bring Absalom back.....but don't bring him into my house."
   For a couple years, this works out ok, but then Absalom is tired of being shunned by his father, and sends for Joab, to get an invite to David's presence. Joab refuses to come. Absalom sets Joab's field on fire. Finally Joab comes to Absalom, who demands to be brought before David. He's brought before David, and David kisses him.
   Then Absalom starts stealing the favor of the people from David. He does this by doing some bits of service for the people, while claiming that the king has no help set up for them. He starts rounding up more followers, and the conspiracy grows so much that David has to flee Jersusalem. (God wasn't kidding about evil rising up in his own house). All of those faithful to David followed him. The Levites bring the Ark, but David tells them to put it back. Ziba, Mephibosheth's servant, comes up to David with donkeys and food gifts for David's family. David asks where Mephibosheth is, and Ziba responds that he stayed behind in Jerusalem because he believes the kingdom will be restored to Saul's house now. Talk about getting kicked when you're already down. You know David's gotta be really down in the dumps, and now even Mephibosheth is turning against him. David tells Ziba that all that belonged to Mephibosheth belongs to Ziba now. (this isn't the last we hear of Mephibosheth, however...there is a rather sweet ending later on...)
   Now there's this radical guy named Shimei, who is obviously not David's biggest fan. As David and his people are fleeing, he follows after them, cursing continuously at them, throwing rocks and dirt at them, saying, "You worthless man!", and such things.  David orders his men to leave Shimei alone, and that maybe one day God will bless David for it. Absalom wants all of Israel to know that his Dad is gone and he is in, and what a very big and mighty deal Mr. Absalom is. So he has a tent pitched on the roof and brings up David's 10 concubines (whom David left to watch over the household affairs) and proceeds to have his way with them in the sight of the people. What a disgusting pig, if I do say so.
    David has a spy back home, luckily....A man named Hushai is going to report what he hears back to David and try to turn things in his favor. He convinces Absalom to put off going against David and bringing the flock back to Jerusalem immediately, in order to stall.....for David's sake. Hushai tells David's priests of the plan.
   So David was able to evade capture by Absalom and had enough time to muster up troops. Before they went to battle against Absalom's men, he requested that they "deal gently" Absalom. Undoubtedly, he is angry and feeling betrayed and all sorts of awful, but nonetheless, Absalom is still his son...
   In an odd twist, Absalom gets himself stuck in a tree when his head lodges between branches and the mule keeps on walking (seems he inherited some of his dad's smarts but is perhaps not as sauve of a soldier....). Somebody notices and tells Joab, who responds by asking why he didn't simply kill him. The man reminds Joab of David's order not to kill Absalom. Joab is like, "I don't have time for this...." and puts three javelins through Absalom. Joab blows a trumpet and stops the battle, since Absalom (who is the reason for all this business) is dead. They throw Absalom's body in a pit and cover it with stones.  David was held back from this battle, because his people realize at this point what David is worth to them, and they will not risk his life. So David is watching from afar, waiting for some kind of news, and worrying over Absalom's fate. He sees two messengers running toward him with news. David questions them, seemingly more intent on the news of his son than of who defeated who.  The first messenger didn't know Absalom's fate, but the second messenger knew, and he told David.
    David spirals into a horrible grief. He's all, "Oh, Absalom! My son! My son, Absalom!" I have to say...... I kind of wonder if Absalom's death brought back to David the deaths of his other sons. Everything has been happening in David's life so fast & furiously, and I think the grief has finally just caught up to him. He covers his face and he's just wailing for Absalom. Joab confronts David, and he's like, "You are putting your people to shame, who have fought to deliver you from your enemy here." and he tells David this: "You love those who hate you and hate those who love you." I definately feel for David, but I also think Joab's got a point.  All of Israel is confused now, and everyone goes back to their own home and is arguing amongst themselves.
    Shimei, the madman who cursed David while he was fleeing, comes and asks David's pardon, which David gives. Mephiboseth comes to David, and he's looking rather unsheveled. And David says simply to him, "Why did you not go with me?"  And Mephibosheth insists that his servant deceived David, but that David is like an angel of God, and to do whatever seems right under the circumstances. David is like, "OK, enough of all this" and orders that Mephibosheth and Ziba split the land between them. And then Mephibosheth, not caring anymore about the wealth, says that Ziba can take all of it. He's just happy that David is back home   :-)              Not everybody is so happy, however. There seems to be a distinction between the people of Judah (who steadfastly favor David) and the rest of Israel. A man named Sheba causes another rebellion, but all of Judah remains faithful to David.
      David has his concubines taken out of the house and locked away in another house. It doesn't say this in the scripture but I wonder if he was disgusted by the fact that his son had slept with them.
    So Joab and David's people pursue Sheba, and when they come to a city called "Beth-maacah", a wise woman intervenes and somehow gets Sheba's head thrown over a wall to stop the fighting and preserve their city.
    Now there's a famine for three years, and God tells David it's because of bloodguilt from the house of Saul against the Gibeonites. David asks the Gibeonites how they can reconcile, and the Gibeonites ask for 7 of Saul's descendants, that they might hang them. So they do, but David spares Mephibosheth. The famine goes away.
    Israel goes to war with the Phillistines, and David stumbles in battle and nearly dies. The people restrict him from battle. He's getting weary, and doesn't need to be in the line of fire anymore.  Chapter 22 is David's song of Deliverance, reminiscent of the Psalms. Interestingly, if you've read about David's life, you draw the connection between what he is saying to God and what he has experienced. This is one of the reasons why I'm reading the Bible "like it's a book."  Everything flows. It makes more sense. Chapter 23 is David's Oracle, which follows closely to the song of Deliverance, and mentions God's covenant with David's house. Then there is a very, very long list of valiant men who fought with David.
    Chapter 24 is tricky. God's anger is kindled against Israel once again, and he "incites" David against them by telling David to perform a census. Now, this didn't sit well with me, so I researched it a bit. Evidently, across different translations of this verse, it is suggested that it was not necessarily God himself inciting David, but God's *anger* against Israel which incited David.  This could be supported by the fact that later on, in 1 Chronicles 21, it is stated that Satan incited David to count Israel. What it seems to me is that God is angry at Israel, and David begins to doubt God's protection/providence for Israel, and therefore David wishes to count up his military, in this attitude that they've got to be beefed up because they'll be without God's hand. Joab doesn't want to do the census, but he obeys. It takes some 9 months and twenty days. Judah comes in at half a million valient men, while the rest of Israel is at 800 thousand. So the "sinful" part of this seem to me that it's David's motivation and the fact that he did the census in a rebellious way. God had given Israel orders on how to do a census - and it involved every single person paying a symbolic ranson for their life to God. The focus of a Godly census had God at the center. David's census was completely different.
    So David realizes he has grievously sinned, and God, through a prophet, offers three punishments which David must choose from. "Pestilence" wins out, and over the course of three days, 70 thousand of Israel die. God tells the angel who is pouring out His wrath to stop, and David actually sees the angel and also asks him to stop. So he stops. And then David, who is standing at a threshing floor, is going to build an altar and offer sacrficies to make things right with the Lord. The owner offers to give him the threshing floor and the sacrifical animals for free, but David insists on paying, saying that he will not offer a sacrifice to God that cost him nothing.

Absalom and his equestrian blunder. I think I saw something like this on failblog once....